Friday, September 4, 2009

CNN is a joke, and ought to be ashamed of itself.

The late genius/culture-observer/comedian Bill Hicks said:

"You know what my problem is? I watch too much news, man, that's my problem, that's why I'm so depressed all the time, I figured it out. I watch too much CNN, man. I don't know if you've ever sat around and watched CNN more than, I don't know, 20 hours in one day...I don't recommend that. Watch CNN Headline News for 1 hour, it's the most depressing thing you'll ever fucking do: WAR, FAMINE, DEATH, AIDS, HOMELESS, RECESSION, DEPRESSION. WAR, FAMINE, DEATH, AIDS, HOMELESS...Then, you look out your window. [makes cricket-chirping sounds] "Where's all this shit happening? Ted Turner's making this shit up! Jane Fonda won't sleep with him, he runs to a typewriter: 'By 1992, we will all die of AIDS; read that on the air. I don't get laid, no one gets laid!'" I'm writing Jane Fonda: 'Will you fuck this guy so we can get some good news, please?' I want to see a well-laid Ted Turner newscast: "Hey, it's all going to work out. Here's sports."

This find is for Bill. It's kind of reassuring to see how things don't change over the years.

Actual homepage screenshot (framed for posterity). September 3rd, 2009, 8:45PM

Jeezus! It's like this blog, but without the jokes...

"Honey, have you seen the news today?"

RIP Bill Hicks (1961-1994)